trying to see the sense in everything

whats the bloody point of salvaging things now?
especially after all that has been said and done.
airing dirty linen for the world to see and talk about.
is it just seeking attention or what is it?
i really don't get it.

i remember telling you before, in a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap.
n just last nite you tell me about it being a one way street.
who ever treated this as a one way street?
who?

i get that you need a longer time to cool off and so i let you.
how am i to know how long you need?
even after the so-called cooling off, you still could be so antagonistic towards me.
is that all i'm worth?
you jus being pissed off at me?

when was the last time i picked on ur shortcomings?
when was the last time i told you things i don't like about u, the way you handle things, the way you are or the way you drive?
when did i have expectations of you that i told to in ur face?
when did i have expectations and not say it?
when did i not give you credit?
when did i not tell you that i appreciate you taking the trouble to send me home after all the Clubbing?
when did i not tell you i appreciate the things you do?
when when when?

and now, i get told off one issue at a time.
exploded in my face.
just based on 1 issue. which is a small matter to begin with.
all we needed was to resolve it. to come to a common understanding.
but you chose to stay angry. you chose to be disappointed.
you could have talked to Grace, Shiqin, ask them for ways to help the situation.
but you chose not to.
fine, maybe you think they are MY sounding boards, therefore you feel it's not right for you to talk to them.
as much as Grace is my cousin, my best friend. she's your friend too.
i have no doubt that she will be objective thru it all. if only you just tried.

if it was all so important to you, why did you have to leave it all till now.
after saying all those hurtful stuff.
being so antagonistic and sacarstic.

for the record, you're not the only person hurt.
you're not the only person feeling shitty.
you're not the only victim here.

everytime we had issues, when did i post stuff about you on MSN or FB?
when?
by your last post last night and deleting/removing all our photos n such.
isn't it all clear enough?
i texted to ask if you still wanted the relationship.
guess what, you didn't reply.
how do you think you made me felt?

happy or sad, good times or bad, everything you announce to the whole world.
now even by you not eating, your whole family knows whats going on.
real smart move.
as if it's not bad enough that your whole FB & MSN contacts are probably thinking i'm such a bitch.
now your family too.
thanks alot. really.

i hated to think that our r'ship has an expiration date of 6 months like all your previous ones, because i held to my heart, the statement you made about me being different.
maybe you were just saying it.

if you know me well enough, you'd know how i handle things.
you'd know i'd be ok if you just talk nicely.
why must there be attitude problems for the sake of it?
we're all adults here.
why is there a need to make such a negative point?

admittedly, yes i have a lot of committments, yes i have a lot of friends whom i am not willing to let go off. it's not the first day you know me.
isn't r'ships about mutual acceptance?
what good is a r'ship if both parties are just going to keep pin-pointing faults and short-comings?
would you rather a girlfriend who has an exceptionally good social life, who includes you occassionally?
or would you rather a girlfriend who has the usual bunch of friends in her life and spends time with her family?

i know you don't like it that i don't put your name up here.
and yes, my closer friends would know who i'm talking about.
but still i choose not to put names up here.
because i'm very sure, years from now, i'll know who i'm talking about.

ya, it's good while it lasted.